How Pornography is Traumatizing Women and Destroying Marriages

How Pornography is Traumatizing Women and Destroying Marriages


Pornography and pornographic images saturate our culture. Seventy years ago, the only way to access porn was by stealing dad’s Playboy magazine and going out behind the shed to take a surreptitious peak. 1953 saw the advent of this hallmark “soft-core” pornography publication, but even though the mainstream porn industry had officially begun, the culture wasn’t yet saturated and sexualized by a near-constant stream of lust-filled images.

Today, all a child has to do to access the far more damaging hardcore porn is close his bedroom door and turn on his iPhone or laptop.

As for soft porn, rather than being limited to adult magazines, it’s everywhere—on mainstream TV shows, movies, billboards, and in a myriad of other ways.

Take, for example, advertisements. I searched for a 1950’s ad for underwear. The image is a bit different than the barely-clad, soft-porn images people are exposed to today.

The cultural saturation into the world of pornography tends to “normalize” this sexually destructive and addictive behavior. The attitude that “everyone” looks at porn is pervasive in today’s society, as is the push that porn is supposedly normal or even healthy.

In the end, internet porn devastates our capacity for close relationships and good sex. It promotes loneliness and isolation and infuses a person with shame and despair. Porn devotees are left with a broken and fragmented sexuality, in which emotion and the erotic are separate and never integrated.

(Dr. Sue Johnson)

Due to an overwhelming response to my article “The Gateway to Abuse: How Pornography Destroys Relationships” as well as multiple requests for follow-up articles, I’ve decided to write a series on how pornography destroys not only marriages, but everyone involved—the user, the victimized partner, and the entire core of the family structure.

Sadly, research has shown that the majority of boys who develop a sex addiction are introduced to some sort of pornography by the age of 11. Research also shows that most domestic abusers are liars who hide sexual secrets, including multiple affairs and/or pornography addiction.

Although most pornography abusers are male, women are increasingly beginning to share this addiction.


There are many victims in the porn industry: the user and abuser, the victimized partner, those forced into a porn “career” through desperation or sex trafficking, and more. All this needs to be exposed—and hopefully remedied.

Pornography immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

(CCC 2354)

Be on the lookout in the coming weeks for myth-busting information on pornography use, how betrayal trauma devastates the victim, and more. If you have any suggestions or questions about this topic, as always please feel free to contact me.

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